Little Ironies
by Vault166
Summary: Ash Ketchum's life had long since become patently ridiculous. He'd traveled through time, met more legendary pokemon than regular people had brain cells, and had a Spanish accent for a couple of weeks. So honestly the world jumping out of the frying pan into the fires of non-existence wasn't that surprising. /A random dock I've had on my computer for who knows how long\\


It had always been like this for Ash.

The world was filled with tiny ironies and this was just one in a long line of them for The Ketchum.

You see Ash had long master the art of ignoring just how odd his life was. After all, most people didn't randomly stumble upon legendary pokemon. Well actually they did but it happened as an uncommon, once in lifetime experience that left the person either full of inspiration, or at the edge of suicide.

Depending on the legendary that is. (the amount of people that had killed themselves after meeting Mew was positively astounding.)

Normal people however, did not however end up crashing on Azelf (the legendary of willpower) couch after a weekend of binge drinking.

They didn't have to have an apologetic Celebi explain that they might have accidentally damaged his age clock back in the lake of life.

Normal people also didn't regularly have to save the planet because hey, Dialga got _drunk_.

They also didn't trip and bounce their heads off of rocks only to somehow learn to speak Pokemon for a couple of weeks. (_Thankfully it only lasted a week and a half, He'd never truly realized how sarcastic pikachu was._)

Normal people also didn't end speaking Pokemon with a Spanish accent. What is a spanish accent you ask? Ash didn't have a fucking clue, and at this point he didn't want to tempt the universe.

To be honest, waking up to the face of Arceus the creator pokemon, and architect of the universe, with a hangover wasn't even all that surprising.

It certainly wasn't the most surprising thing that had ever happened to Ash Ketchum, or the "Chosen One" if you were feeling particularly pretentious.

No this didn't even make the top ten list for Surprising/Weird/Odd things that happened in his life.

Now learning Pikachu (his sparky, sarcastic, loving partner of a Pikachu) had been made a legendary by human belief and later Arceus during the whole "Lightning Beast" fiasco had been far more surprising.

However this probably did make the top ten most mortifying things that had happened to the "King of the League" as some really, _really_ shitty fans called him.

After all, the last thing he remembered was pulling out a bottle of Unovan vodka for his 25th birthday. (He couldn't even count the amount of money he'd earned simply by living to his twenties.)

So naturally the only conclusion Ash could come to was that he'd gotten blackout drunk. So of course, he had to have broken the fabric of reality in just the right way to end up in the Hall of Origins. A pocket dimension with an extensive defense system that could likely keep Arceus himself at bay for years.

And To be entirely honest, it wouldn't even be the first time. It was just that last time he hadn't been drunk.

"Um hi?" he said rather awkwardly, he and the legend of legendaries got along rather well, but it was still hard to talk after apparently embarrassing himself in one of the most mortifying ways possible.

It was almost as awkward as the talk with a Celebi about his broken Age Clock. God had that conversation been odd, especially for May who had apparently been ageing backwards for a couple years.

"_Hello Chosen one._" The great deer god said ever so kindly.. "_As much as I would like to say this was a recreational call, or perhaps you stumbling into the hall of Origins again, this is much more urgent._" Ash blinked. "So I didn't get blackout drunk and break into the center of creation?"

Watching the God pokemon _sigh_ in a mix of bemusement, and amusement had Ash fighting down a blush with more effort than ever before. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"_That you did Ash, that you did."_ Laughing sheepishly the Chosen found himself running a hadn't through his hair. A nervous habit that hadn't resurfaced since the first time he'd won a League.

"So um what did you need me for?" Ash said only to fight down a burst of incredulity, as he watched the Creator pokemon fidget as though nervous about how Ash was going to react.

"_You see Ash, your universe has, as you Humans say, Kicked the Bucket so to speak."_ it probably said something about Ash that his only reaction to the end of the universe, was to sigh in annoyance. It probably wasn't anything nice either.

"_I have to say your taking this fairly well, I was expecting more yelling."_ the Poke god said in surprise at the champions silent reaction.

"It's not like I wasn't expecting to happen at some point, I mean how many times have I stopped the world from going kaboom?" Arceus titled its head to the side, "_257 from direct action"_ Ash blinked "what?"

"_You were the one who asked."_

That had Ash jumping to his feet, "Yeah but that didn't mean I wanted an answer!" Arceus Blinked "_Then why did you ask?"_

It must have been a form of insanity that allowed Ash to understand that the creator of the universe was genuinely confused by a rhetorical question. "It was a rhetorical question Arceus… I wasn't expecting an answer."

The legendary Pokemon, looked away as if vaguely embarrassed about his failure to remember the intricacies of the Human Language and brushed the subject aside with an. "_...Oh"_

"Anyway so the world ended, who finally managed to throw the planet out of the frying pan?" Ash had several ideas, to many ideas. Although he was struck with the idea that Cyrus had done the deed, even though the man had been dead for more than a decade.

"_Funny enough it was the Rocket trio."_ A smack resounded through the currently empty pocket dimension. "But I thought they went legitimate!?"

"_They did._" "Then how!" "_But it seems Meowth was building a mech for your birthday, a sort of memorial for old times." _ "How did that break the world!?" "_Simple really, he broke the rules of the world by making a device that could hold your Pikachu for more than an hour."_

"What?"

"_You Mirror my thoughts on the matter, anyway after clearing that up. I must mention that I simply can't fix your world, not as it was, at least."_

Seaming rather unphased Ash simply looked curious, "Why not?" Arceus blinked but didn't question his good fortune, (all the other gods said that more yelling would be involved) and started explaining.

"_In your universe, you were so to speak, one of the many things that kept the world ticking. If the world had been a clock, you would have been one of the most important gears, if only because you kept all the other gears from killing each other."_ Said the Creator Pokemon nonchalantly.

"_As a result of a… conflict with other World administrators, It is impossible for me to make a universe without putting the entirety of my power and ability into crafting a new world. As I said before you were a rather important gear that insured the world kept ticking." _The deity paused scowled briefly before returning his attention to the Chosen one.

"_Sorry, a scientist four demensions away tried to break into the Hall of Origins, As I was saying you were simply quiet intrinsic to your dimension day-to-day functions, and received quite a bit of my attention when I created it. However, at the time of your universe's creation I was a very young and inexperienced god, as a result." _the god halted as If to think it's words through. "_Well to continue with the metaphor, your world was made on an analog clockwork system with many easily broken gears, meanwhile any world I Am capable of making nowadays would be a quantum supercomputer, with fail safes inside failsafes, and the ability to download food."_

Ash let that sink into his brain for a couple seconds but before he could really process that, the God Pokémon started talking again.

"_Thankfully I can make a new universe backwards compatible, otherwise you'd be stuck here for the rest of your mortal life."_


End file.
